Anger Management 4

5. Change your internal conversation

The messages that you give yourself in the heat of the moment can agitate the beast or calm the beast; messages such as:

“I don’t have to put up with this crap.”

“You can’t treat me like this. It’s so unfair.”

“What a bunch of bull!”

Of course, some of these phrases may be true. Lord knows, there are a lot of people shoveling some serious cow manure these days! But that doesn’t mean that they have to be anything more than a mild irritant.

Phrases like:

“If person isn’t polite to me, then that means he doesn’t respect me and I’m not putting up with that crap.”

Can be turned into something like:

“Some people are just rude, but I refuse to let them get to me. My time is too valuable to waste on crap like this.”

This method, which is known as self-instructional training, may not work for you instantly, especially if your beast has been off the leash for years. It takes practice to develop the ability to create useful self-messages for yourself, but it’s proven to be effective for a lot of individuals.

Changing your internal conversation isn’t always easy because it requires you to…

6. Challenge your beliefs and perceptions

Your beliefs and perceptions determine the boundaries of your world. Think about that.

When you challenge or change your beliefs and perceptions, you’re altering your concept of reality. You are changing your world. If you understand what I’m saying, then you’ll understand why it’s so hard for people to give up certain beliefs and perceptions.

People rarely seek information that contradicts what they believe. In fact, it’s not unusual for people to completely ignore evidence that refutes what they believe. They tend to look for anything that validates and reinforces their beliefs.

If you were hanging off of a cliff and the only thing keeping you from falling was the rope you were holding on to, how tightly would you hold on to that rope?